Pushing Myself

         "its easy to lie to yourself that u r working as hard as u can. if u want somthing, dont lie to yourslef that it will just happen. Get to work" - Steven Roggenbuck, IF U DONT LOVE THE MOON YOUR AN ASSHOLE

There are a few things I need to work on next semester that I want to note here.

  • I need to keep up with Italian Lit. Over the holidays, I want to have finished Calvino, and by the 3rd week I want to have read a decent amount of secondary literature and have an essay (perhaps) planned out. In the 3rd week I want to start reading Leopardi, so I've read whatever is necessary by the time we start him in 5th week. I want to spend much, much more time in the library working on Italian. I'll try to utilise the 2am close far more than I have been doing.
  • Generally spend far more time working on Italian grammar. Write more notes on it! Separate my Italian Lit and Italian grammar/vocabulary notes, have one notebook for each.
  • Keep up with the anthropology course I'll be doing next semester. Even if I don't like it, look at it as work. Keep tidy notes for eventual and inevitable memorisation. Don't stress too much about it, though, because it's not part of my main degree and as such only requires a 40% pass.
  • Continue the good work in Philosophy. (Need to pat myself on the back for something.)
  • As an experiment, try less inebriation and more caffeination in general. Have coffees on Monday and Thursday PhilSoc nights. Try to leave by 9 for Monday PhilSoc nights and work in the library some more.
  • Realise reading and writing for yourself will have to drastically decrease, but bear in mind the prize: a year-long experience of living in Italy. You have time to read and write in the future. You're only young yet. You're a student, so study. The government is paying you to do it; treat it a bit like a job.
  • Having said that, put some time aside during the weekends to read and write for yourself. You need to keep sane. But don't feel so bad if an invitation to socialise takes away that time -- remember, "living" is one prong of the writer's apprenticeship trident.
  • Be okay with really pushing yourself. Don't break down, but be aware of the fact that Olympians don't become Olympians by working only a "comfortable" amount.
  • Be kinder and more engaging with people. I have a sneaking suspicion that overt kindness and confidence may be linked.
  • For Christ's sake, stop being late to things.
  • Wake up early for those 9am starts so you don't have to hate everything. Pop a Redbull or some coffee, and suck it up.
I think that's a good, hearty list for now. In my mind, the most important point is the "be okay with really pushing yourself" point. That's the general theme here. When a boxer faces a tough opponent, he doesn't whimper, "Perhaps boxing isn't for me..." He punches back! The going has gotten tough so it's time for me to punch back, even if my vision is blurred with sweat and my mouth and nose are bleeding.

I will not fail.

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