Love of Lights

it means a lot to me to be allowed to be intimate with you i am scared that i won't be accepted, and that i am defective, and that there is nothing desirable about me, so when you let me be intimate with you, you are putting to practice what my friends tell me in theory. it means a lot to me to be close to you, when i am i feel enveloped in the safety of another human being this is a closeness that is impossible with any other kind of relation or any other being when i am in the arms of you and you are in mine and we exchange bodily heat and we offer to each other the tastes of our own mouths, inside i feel a swirling, melted cyclone; i think that is what comfort feels like i want to explore the warm and quiet places with you we will push and curl and stretch and moan we will be embarrassed and we will be unsure but i hope that doesn't dissuade you or extinguish your adventurous spirit; it's the trial of explorers that we fumble and struggle; but we m...

an unwise man once told me, "i don't believe in truth anymore if i'm being completely honest with you" i looked at him and i thought about how unwise what he had said was, but how beautiful. truth is a big concept, and i don't want to care for parts of it anymore i don't want to care for the truth that strokes the intellect i don't want to care about intellect i don't want to care for arguments i don't want to care about whose interpretation is more insightful and Famous-Intellectual-esque i just want to be i don't want to aim or impress i just want to be i want do what i like to do i want to be okay i want to meet a girl who will join me in not caring i don't want to care anymore i want to be unserious and flippant and frivolous and unintellectual i want to be creative and expressive and unintellectual i want to be loving and loved and unintellectual i want a girl to kiss and to fuck and with whom to view the world in...

did you ever think about the old man sitting in the back of the car? did you ever think about him, the old man I mean, sitting in the back of the car and in the front of the car are there are in the front of the car his children his children who he used, in his day, to drive around and they would sit in the back, but things have changed and now he is there, where they used to be and he moves from strong to weak where they have moved from weak to strong did you ever think about that? how f- how (freaky and scary) exciting bizarre amazing did you ever ride the coach and sit at the back did you ever sit at the back in your youth did you sit there at the back to stretch your legs and relax to unwind and unfurl your youth about you (I did) at the back is the coach's toilet, though and you learn something by sitting there, inundated in your sprawling youth you learn a terrible thing did you ever sit there deep in your youth and encounter over and over and over aga...