Love of Lights

Two days ago, on the Thursday, I had to go 'verbalise' an exam result I had achieved in Italy. Verbalisation basically means going into the professor's office to discuss what you had written and, I suppose, to confirm it was indeed you who wrote the exam. I arrived 15 minutes before the closing time of her office hours. I tend to procrastinate things to the latest possible minute when I'm nervous.  I don't know why I was nervous; I had done tremendously well. I suppose it's that I don't particularly know what to do with praise, and I've never managed to be fully comfortable buddying up with authority figures. I don't know why this is. Growing up I've always just maintained that artificial boundary between me and my peers and those in authority, and it has always stuck. I know now that authority figures are just human beings like I am, but the boundary is hard to dissolve. I walked up the marble (or granite, I don't know the difference; per...

This year I have posted far less on my blog than usual, mostly because I've been in an emotional rut on account of a fairly terrible year. However, I want to get into the practice of writing frequently again. What's more, I want to train myself to be able to write, to produce a coherent string of words, without too much hesitation and worry about how it will come out. I mostly want this for fiction-writing reasons, but I think by writing more on this blog, I might be able to train that general muscle. So for these reasons, I want to start writing at least once a week on this blog. That is, at least. Ideally I want to write something every day, and that's what I will try to do at first, but I can see in advance that that will be difficult, so I will only give myself the official goal of every week. The topics will range from life experiences to general thoughts, so there won't be much of a deviation from the general themes of this blog, but the posts might be shorter, sn...